Nobody reads this anyway!

That is the most appropriate title yet!  and surely the truth.  I honestly think I could say anything at all and there would be barely a ripple in the proverbial universe, but sometimes we just like to think that what we think and what we say just might count.

I have been teaching music for 35 years now;  the first two, in public school teaching (band director heaven) which fortunately or unfortunately (depending on my mood at the time) was not a good fit for 22-year-old Janet, and the last 33 years as a private instructor of 1. Clarinet 2. Saxophone 3.  Piano.  I have also oddly on occasion taught private lessons on cello (???), flute, bassoon, and  - I think that's it.

My husband drops hints, or at least I think they are hints, that maybe as I get closer to my finishing my sixth decade on earth, that perhaps I should relinquish my teaching belt and leave it to the thirty-somethings.  Hmmm. But what belt would I wear then?  There isn't another that fits.

Certainly not retail....... gaga gagagagagagag.  It's my own damn fault for staying with it for year and for being such a poor person that I can't get away from it for long.  But I think retail workers, and I am talking about the lowly underlings such as myself, are treated the poorest of just about any profession in which I have been actively involved.  Treated with disrespect from the public and the personnel who are your 'bosses' --- at least this current job is like that.  I am too much a mirror of my surroundings, though, and what is thrown at me goes back out, seems as if I have very little control over that.  I should but I don't.

I know I should be grateful to have a job that allows me to do the job I really love mostly, and at least 30 percent of  the time I am.  But not right now.  And good Lord, Christmas is coming.  My biggest wish for the past few years is that I would be happily cruising in the Caribbean this holiday season..  Damn, I hate my job.  Wish to hell I didn't need it so badly.