That is the most appropriate title yet! and surely the truth. I honestly think I could say anything at all and there would be barely a ripple in the proverbial universe, but sometimes we just like to think that what we think and what we say just might count.
I have been teaching music for 35 years now; the first two, in public school teaching (band director heaven) which fortunately or unfortunately (depending on my mood at the time) was not a good fit for 22-year-old Janet, and the last 33 years as a private instructor of 1. Clarinet 2. Saxophone 3. Piano. I have also oddly on occasion taught private lessons on cello (???), flute, bassoon, and - I think that's it.
My husband drops hints, or at least I think they are hints, that maybe as I get closer to my finishing my sixth decade on earth, that perhaps I should relinquish my teaching belt and leave it to the thirty-somethings. Hmmm. But what belt would I wear then? There isn't another that fits.
Certainly not retail....... gaga gagagagagagag. It's my own damn fault for staying with it for year and for being such a poor person that I can't get away from it for long. But I think retail workers, and I am talking about the lowly underlings such as myself, are treated the poorest of just about any profession in which I have been actively involved. Treated with disrespect from the public and the personnel who are your 'bosses' --- at least this current job is like that. I am too much a mirror of my surroundings, though, and what is thrown at me goes back out, seems as if I have very little control over that. I should but I don't.
I know I should be grateful to have a job that allows me to do the job I really love mostly, and at least 30 percent of the time I am. But not right now. And good Lord, Christmas is coming. My biggest wish for the past few years is that I would be happily cruising in the Caribbean this holiday season.. Damn, I hate my job. Wish to hell I didn't need it so badly.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
here again
03/30/2011 Well, and well. So I haven't been keeping up with this magic birthday year stuff. Hmm. It's not that I don't follow through with things, I am usually pretty good about that, though there is a tendency to procrastinate from time to time. No, that's the wrong word. Side-tracked is more like it. I get side-tracked sometimes. But to tell you the truth, life has somewhat side-tracked me. And what was hopefully to be fun and interesting activities to spur a little energy and enthusiasm into my every day, ho-hum existence, turned out to be harder to do than I thought. Life just wouldn't let me have fun half the time. A lot of the activities I had listed were come upon with the help of my bff. However, she has disappeared - I know not where she is, what she is, or how she is. And she was the only one I knew that was available when I was available. Maybe that was using our friendship, not wanting to do things alone, but I guess that is one of my many flaws. I needed her to help me get on with my list, and now I just don't feel like getting on with my list by myself. That is not the only reason, I am certainly a big girl and can do things on my own. And half the reason I started the list, came up with the idea, was to get me out of the winter doldrums after last year's incredibly gray and cold one. Not that this winter has been that much better, but there has been more sunshine. And I do love sunshine. Then there has been the fact of all my jobs. Ha. I am laughing. All my jobs. I have so many stupid jobs and make so little money that it is absolutely ridiculous. And you know, that's just downright depressing. Most of what I have done, workwise, has been because I really, honestly loved what I was doing, money being kind of an afterthought. There is only one of those jobs of the many I have now that I can honestly say I love, most of the time, and that is the private teaching. More times than not, it is what I look most forward to. More times than not, I am happy to see the next student walk through the door. More times than not, I am having fun being with these young musicians and sharing with them this part of their life. And that is the one constant of my life for the past 34 years. (John has been my other one constant, of the past 16 years). My other jobs, this year, though, kind of deploded. My visual merchandising activities at Stein Mart have come to a halt, almost completely. I rarely get to dress any floor mannequins; I 'get' to do the windows, but it it far less of a creative effort than it was before. Rarely doing they even let me pick out the clothing for the mannequins. I am to assume that this is primarily because of corporate changes in that area of the store, but no one has ever really said that to me. I guess I am expected to know things omnisciently, or something. It was fairly easy to tell things were going south on the creative end when they had me sell off/get rid of 98% of the visual props. That was a very painful thing to do. You see, I have been in retail for many, many years, and most of those years have been fairly successful in sales. Stein Mart has been a bit of a different animal for me, it was a bit hard to acclimate myself to the discount genre, but I think I did, though I can always improve on that end. But when I got the visual job, it was like Christmas and Thanksgiving and the Fourth of July all rolled into one --- I have always loved display work, and was so happy that I could use that other college degree again! It was the best part of my job at Stein Mart, and it is gone. Now it's just same old same old boring. But it is money. And I find myself in a position I have never been in before, having to work just for the money, not because I like the job. I don't mind saying all this, because I know no one reads my stupid blog anyway so it really doesn't matter. And before I get in to the final job that collapsed upon itself, I am going to take a break, and tell that story later. It is the most raw at the moment. Maybe, just maybe, when I work through all this crap, I can get back to having a Magic Birthday Year. Maybe.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Shame on me!
I have not been following through with this Magic Birthday Blog exactly as I intended, but then, things never go quite as we intend. Since I am the writer of this blog, and since it is MY magic birthday year, and MY magic birthday list, then I have finally figured out this is the one thing that I am the complete boss of! So, I am making an exectuive decision . . . the Magic Birthday List will officially end when all the items on the list are finished, and that may take more than a year! Due to my incredibly busy, yet boring, life, there are not enough vacant hours available to accomplish everything in such a time frame as a year, especially as some items on the list only occur with infrequent frequency- for instance, my schedule has not allowed us to be able to go to Tri-State Speedway this season (we went to our neighbor's annual Labor Day Cook-Out on the evening we could have gone to Tri-State) and we also missed the Mesker Summer Movie Nights, due to vacation or work or something or other. So those are things we will have to pick up next summer, being as summer is over now. Gee. Summer is over.
At this point I have to complain. It really wasn't that great of a summer - it started off fine, my Magic Birthday Garden thriving, the grass growing, and then . . . . . . then, the heat. Now I know that is normal with summer but it was relentless this year , and the WORST part was, NO RAIN! We seriously have had barely an inch of rain since July. My grass is gone, some flowers made it through ok, but not looking the greatest, and my poor tomatoes are cherry tomatoes even though they're not. And I have watered as best I can, but it's not good enough. Sigh. Now it is one of my favorite times of year, and still, no rain. It is so DRY! Not that I want a deluge, or anything, but still . . .
End of complaints. I will get back to this soon, with all the things I WAS able to do on the list and the continuing thrills thereof. . .
At this point I have to complain. It really wasn't that great of a summer - it started off fine, my Magic Birthday Garden thriving, the grass growing, and then . . . . . . then, the heat. Now I know that is normal with summer but it was relentless this year , and the WORST part was, NO RAIN! We seriously have had barely an inch of rain since July. My grass is gone, some flowers made it through ok, but not looking the greatest, and my poor tomatoes are cherry tomatoes even though they're not. And I have watered as best I can, but it's not good enough. Sigh. Now it is one of my favorite times of year, and still, no rain. It is so DRY! Not that I want a deluge, or anything, but still . . .
End of complaints. I will get back to this soon, with all the things I WAS able to do on the list and the continuing thrills thereof. . .
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Bowling scores to date
Ten games to date, August 10, 2010.
1. 77 6. 96
2. 88 7. 112
3. 131 8. 94
4. 97 9. 74
5. 83 10. 108
1. 77 6. 96
2. 88 7. 112
3. 131 8. 94
4. 97 9. 74
5. 83 10. 108
oh dear, it's August!!!!!
OK, July just flew by. Sort of. I have to admit I napped during part of it - a really bizarre work schedule, vacation, and intense heat waves kind of messed with my equilibrium, and I found it quite refreshing to snuggle in with the little fur babies and take naps until time for the next job. Lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer indeed.
My magic birthday list is progressing nicely. I have been bowling ten times ( I will post the scores thus far, even though they are really pathetic), I have seen a couple of more birds, my Magic Birthday Garden is growing, despite only a little rain this summer. In this post I will try to put some photos of things.
I have actually accomplished some things on the list in the past month. With a bunch of Stein Mart days off in a row, I even cooked John supper one night (item # 18 - only 4 to go now). I cooked some chicken with wild and brown rice and broccoli and then made a pretty good pie for dessert - a "lemonade pie". It was pretty delicious on a hot summer evening.
Last weekend John and I went to a botanical garden (item #48) - this being the Western Kentucky Botanical Garden in Owensboro. It was a short drive, being on this side of Owensboro, and we had the entire place to ourselves on a hot Saturday afternoon, except for the wedding being prepared for in the visitors' center. We found it to be quite interesting, and surprisingly nice in its size and design, being as Owensboro is a smaller town than Evansville. We saw all manner of roses in a very nice rose garden, herbs, grasses, fruits, a little Japanese garden, a really neat Children's Magic Garden with little sub-gardens - and the beginnings of new gardens being currently developed.
The next day we went to Mesker Park Zoo and Botanical Garden - Evansville's own. I wanted to see the new exhibits, particularly the Amazonian ( item # 36) exhibit. I have only to been to our zoo once, and that was at least ten years ago. I have been by the zoo countless times, as there have been many activities in the Mesker Park area that I have been a part of, in particular, the Evansville Symphonic Band Concerts we used to do at Mesker ( we perform at the Coliseum now) and when I worked for the Philharmonic, working at the Labor Day concerts and running the instrument 'petting zoo' there. Although not in the zoo proper, the Amphitheatre is right next door and often we would hear a lion roar and always we would hear the peacocks, especially as our music floated into the air. Anyway, this was my first time to the zoo in a while, and John and I spent most of the afternoon there. It was hot, yes, and it is a BIG place, lots of walking, but we are well up to that, and really had a good time. The Amazonian exhibit was fantastic. It so reminded me of the zoo in Belize that my sister Suzi and I went to - that zoo was in the middle of a rain forest, and the exhibit at the zoo is also a rain forest, although man-made. In Belize, the humans were the ones in the 'cages' and there were howler monkeys overhead, jaguars with only chicken wire between us, otters that would come right to you - it was quite an experience in the middle of the country. Mesker's compilation of that had so many of the same animals and birds we saw there, with so much more, and in a much more controlled environment. It seemed so natural a place for the animals, so they actually live there instead of just being on display.
Another thing on the list was to go to the annual Parade of Homes and to take five ideas and incorporate them into my own home (item #20). I go to the Parade every year - it is when area builders put their new houses on display. Some are really incredible, million dollar homes that have been decorated by all the best firms in the Tri-State. John and I went this year, and saw maybe 25% of the homes - the list was small again this year, I guess because of the economy. And, sadly, I really didn't see anything that floated my boat, so to speak. We saw house is at least three different price categories but they were all the same - they looked the sameoutside, nothing too exciting, and inside was the same. Everybody had earth tone painted walls (greens, browns, taupes, golds, some red here and there and prerequisite pink and blues for children's rooms) and everyone had woodwork painted white. Every house we saw! Also, stainless steel appliances and granite counters. Or concrete. Concrete is cool, I like that. But granite or concrete is not too practical for our counter tops - our house is not very expensive, nor is it in an expensive neighborhood, so it would be silly to go with astronomical upgrades (we can't afford it anyway). And John thinks that as soon as we would paint all of our woodwork white, it would be out of fashion and wood stain would be back, so we may as well leave it stained and be ahead of the pack!!!! haha. SO, I didn't take any ideas other than a more solid decision on what colors we will be painting when the rooms are re-painted later this year. I guess that's something.
So that is an update - now I will proceed to try to post pictures and to list some things, like bowling scores. Promise you won't laugh at me, whoever it is out there who is reading this!
My magic birthday list is progressing nicely. I have been bowling ten times ( I will post the scores thus far, even though they are really pathetic), I have seen a couple of more birds, my Magic Birthday Garden is growing, despite only a little rain this summer. In this post I will try to put some photos of things.
I have actually accomplished some things on the list in the past month. With a bunch of Stein Mart days off in a row, I even cooked John supper one night (item # 18 - only 4 to go now). I cooked some chicken with wild and brown rice and broccoli and then made a pretty good pie for dessert - a "lemonade pie". It was pretty delicious on a hot summer evening.
Last weekend John and I went to a botanical garden (item #48) - this being the Western Kentucky Botanical Garden in Owensboro. It was a short drive, being on this side of Owensboro, and we had the entire place to ourselves on a hot Saturday afternoon, except for the wedding being prepared for in the visitors' center. We found it to be quite interesting, and surprisingly nice in its size and design, being as Owensboro is a smaller town than Evansville. We saw all manner of roses in a very nice rose garden, herbs, grasses, fruits, a little Japanese garden, a really neat Children's Magic Garden with little sub-gardens - and the beginnings of new gardens being currently developed.
The next day we went to Mesker Park Zoo and Botanical Garden - Evansville's own. I wanted to see the new exhibits, particularly the Amazonian ( item # 36) exhibit. I have only to been to our zoo once, and that was at least ten years ago. I have been by the zoo countless times, as there have been many activities in the Mesker Park area that I have been a part of, in particular, the Evansville Symphonic Band Concerts we used to do at Mesker ( we perform at the Coliseum now) and when I worked for the Philharmonic, working at the Labor Day concerts and running the instrument 'petting zoo' there. Although not in the zoo proper, the Amphitheatre is right next door and often we would hear a lion roar and always we would hear the peacocks, especially as our music floated into the air. Anyway, this was my first time to the zoo in a while, and John and I spent most of the afternoon there. It was hot, yes, and it is a BIG place, lots of walking, but we are well up to that, and really had a good time. The Amazonian exhibit was fantastic. It so reminded me of the zoo in Belize that my sister Suzi and I went to - that zoo was in the middle of a rain forest, and the exhibit at the zoo is also a rain forest, although man-made. In Belize, the humans were the ones in the 'cages' and there were howler monkeys overhead, jaguars with only chicken wire between us, otters that would come right to you - it was quite an experience in the middle of the country. Mesker's compilation of that had so many of the same animals and birds we saw there, with so much more, and in a much more controlled environment. It seemed so natural a place for the animals, so they actually live there instead of just being on display.
Another thing on the list was to go to the annual Parade of Homes and to take five ideas and incorporate them into my own home (item #20). I go to the Parade every year - it is when area builders put their new houses on display. Some are really incredible, million dollar homes that have been decorated by all the best firms in the Tri-State. John and I went this year, and saw maybe 25% of the homes - the list was small again this year, I guess because of the economy. And, sadly, I really didn't see anything that floated my boat, so to speak. We saw house is at least three different price categories but they were all the same - they looked the sameoutside, nothing too exciting, and inside was the same. Everybody had earth tone painted walls (greens, browns, taupes, golds, some red here and there and prerequisite pink and blues for children's rooms) and everyone had woodwork painted white. Every house we saw! Also, stainless steel appliances and granite counters. Or concrete. Concrete is cool, I like that. But granite or concrete is not too practical for our counter tops - our house is not very expensive, nor is it in an expensive neighborhood, so it would be silly to go with astronomical upgrades (we can't afford it anyway). And John thinks that as soon as we would paint all of our woodwork white, it would be out of fashion and wood stain would be back, so we may as well leave it stained and be ahead of the pack!!!! haha. SO, I didn't take any ideas other than a more solid decision on what colors we will be painting when the rooms are re-painted later this year. I guess that's something.
So that is an update - now I will proceed to try to post pictures and to list some things, like bowling scores. Promise you won't laugh at me, whoever it is out there who is reading this!
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